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Wednesday, July 15, 2009

We Represent the Lollipop Guild.......


I'm not really sure if anyone is interested in my camwhoring escapades, but too bad. It's my blog and I'll spy if I want to. Lol.

So, as I was scanning the channels today, what do I come across but a camming midget. Yes, that's right, a friend of Dorothy midget. His screen name was Horny Midget and he listed his age at 30 years old. Now, somebody, please tell me that you wouldn't have been intrigued as well. Right?

So, I click on in to his channel and, once again, became mesmerized by the scene unfolding before me. The cammer, Mr. H-M shall we call him, was seated in a wheelchair with his gnarled legs propped up straight in front of him. Well, actually now that I think about it, it could have been that his legs weren't long enough to drape over the edge of the seat. It's all a blur.

He was completely naked. He had a pot belly that would have rivaled Santa's, quite frankly, and would really have distracted me if it weren't for his equipment. And I don't mean his wheelchair.

He was fricken huge, as were his two accessories. It really was amazing. And Mr. H-M was working it for all it was worth. The comments people were posting were also very funny. One lady was going on and on about how she would love to be with him, have him perform with her, etc. The whole while I was thinking, "Lady, are you kidding? Do you see his lower half? His penis is longer than his legs, for Cripes sake!"

Well, Mr. H-M never responded to anyone's comments, either because his hands were busy squeezing toothpaste from his tube, or because his arms couldn't reach the keyboard. I'm not really sure which.

He did finally come to a happy ending and even had a towel all ready to go to catch his stuff. You know the midget creed: Always be Prepared. And Follow the Yellow Brick Road.

It really was just the most compelling and nauseating performance I've ever witnessed. Afterwards, I clicked over to see a 19 year old Brazilian lad but though he was gorgeous, I just couldn't get the jerkin' midget out of my head. I felt like Aughra, the one-eyed astronomer from The Dark Crystal who lost her eye while staring at the Great Conjunction. The sight of the Great Conjunction was so awesome, it destroyed the eye that witnessed it. This was kind of like that, only without the muppets. And I don't have a cute elf chasing after me trying to get his hands on my "shard" either, more's the pity.

(I would post pictures for people to see, but I don't know how to take captures from a live video stream. Besides, stills wouldn't do the whole experience justice.)