I just realized something.
I've mentioned a couple of times that I have been wanting to do a skaters post here but have been unable to locate pictures that I found suitable. Well, just a few moments ago, I had an epiphany.
I can't find what my mind deems "suitable" pictures of skaters because the boys in the photos all look like they smell bad.
That's right. They look stinky.
I have an extremely sensitive sense of smell, so much so that I can smell food that I'm cooking and determine if it needs more salt. Well, that sense of smell was even more powerful when I was younger. You can imagine how that wreaked havok on me as a child in elementary school. Kids don't brush their teeth well, kids fight against bathing regularly, or they bath at the end of the day, get dirty, and go to sleep a bit smelly.
I remember one time when I was in the third grade, my class was lining up to go inside and I got stuck behind this one girl who always smelled. She smelled so bad that her nickname amongst us all was Stinky Jeanette. Well, I had to stand behind her and, against all hope, it was not one of her better days.
I felt my stomach start churning and I started coughing (never a good sign) which was followed by dry heaves. As the line started to move inside the building, my best friend Joe asked me if I was okay. As I nodded and tried to say yes, I vomited on the pavement.
Lovely.
Needless to say, I was sent to the school nurse, who I swear was the real life inspiration for The Trunchbull from the book Matilda. She didn't like kids, and she definitely didn't like me. Truth be told, I hated her right back. You see, I was always getting sick to my stomach at school due to my issues with extreme anxiety. She always thought I was faking to get out of school and grilled me like a Reichstag interrogator whenever I went in there. Damn white smocked cow.
Anyway. Where was I..............oh yes, smells.
As I look around for photos of skaters, every one I find shows a sweaty, grimy looking character wearing pants that look like they need to be washed, underwear showing that to my insane eye look like they reek of butt b.o. Their hair is slicked with sweat, their caps have a sweat ring that I know is bitter and foul, and their shoes are old and ratty. You just know there are some nasty smells wafting off of those babies.
Each skater photo I come across is ripe with imagined body smells and stinks that turn my stomach slightly, so I wind up thumbing past and, eventually, find nothing that I want to put up on the blog, much less even right click and save. So, with that bit of therapy-worthy info in your possession, I think it is very safe to assume that you will not be seeing a skater boy post after all unless I find some guys that are into skating, not sweating, and wearing clean clothes.
Yeah, I don't think so either.
