Well, I've made up my mind. I have decided to stop visiting all of the adult photo blogs to which I had been subscribed on Blogger, Nibblebit, and Tumblr. I have decided to delete my account over at camforit and cam4 so that I won't be tempted to return to those sites either. I have deleted all of my links to porn sites. I have deleted all of my folders that have pictures of men, be they clothed or not, erotically posed or not, and cute or not. Wait, who am I kidding. They were all cute, of course! I am a gay man of exquisite taste, after all, in case you were not aware. And I am humble to boot. The irony here is that all of my contacts on Yahoo Messenger that I converse with regularly were met at camforit or are owners of gay picture blogs. So, if I had not visited these places, my contacts on Messenger would be greatly diminished. Odd how things work out sometimes.
This decision was not made lightly and has been weeks in the making. I've been slowly deleting my collection of pictures over the last few days already and have been trying to limit my time on the cam sites. Oddly enough, I was warned by two fellow bloggers about the danger inherent in the cam sites. Both Seth, from Sethboyardee, and FMS, from All For My Sake, told me to be careful. Being my usual egotistical self, I of course scoffed at their advice. In danger of being sucked into a dark and lust-filled world of internet voyeurism? What nonsense, I thought. I have a mind trained for academic research, I hold two Bachelor degrees and a Master's degree; how could watching guys undress and be sexy on camera possibly be a danger?
Well, danger hardly covers it. I found that my mind was consumed with the images I saw transmitted over the internet. I would wake up at 3:00 AM just to check my computer for any cute guys that may have been on at that moment. I found myself fantasizing about a couple of the guys who's shows I began to catch on a regular basis. I found that my ability to think logically and coherently were suffering as well. I've never mentioned it here before, but I am in the process of writing a juvenile fantasy in the hopes of getting it published. I am currently sitting at around 220 pages and have been there for the last 3 weeks. Because I have writers block? No, because porn and watching pretty guys on camera were all I could think of.
So, with the help, prayers, and support of friends, I have resolved to stop viewing pornography. I must admit, this is not the first time I've tried doing this, but I am convinced that it is important I succeed this time.
And I am not suggesting that the viewing of pornography or erotic photos is a bad thing for everyone. Should anyone find pleasure in doing so, I say fine. For myself, it seems to have a negative effect, and so I need to take steps to correct that.
So, I am afraid that there shall no longer be any Gratuitous Cute Guy posts, but I suspect the majority of people don't come here for pictures anyway. There are picture blogs for that, and they do a far better job at it than I do. The upside is that my mind is shaking free of the depression and anxiety I've been struggling with, so there should be a story post by tomorrow. I can feel one on the edge of consciousness waiting to be coaxed out.
Heeeeeeere story story story................
